Of CVs and Interviews

“I have met a few agencies and I know what the going rate in the industry is,” the candidate said. There was nothing wrong in being honest and upfront but as an interviewer it made me a tad irritable. It was probably the choice of words not about the amount. Going rate? How about saying remuneration or salary? Definitely sounds better. Just goes to show how minor mistakes can make or mar impressions. I am not certain how many CVs I have read or interviews I sat through, but there are some that stand out as honest, funny, quirky, bizarre or sickeningly boring. I am sharing a few of my experiences, it may probably serve some job aspirant well.

Covering letter / mail  - I remember getting one that sounded highly flattering, worded to make my company sound as though we invented PR. The only thing missing was neon lights flashing ’mass mail’ and I was very sure the same letter was sent to other companies too. Most candidates spend effort beefing up their resumes and put little effort in the covering letter. Interviewers know that you probably got help to create your CV but you may be exposed with this one.

Will that be all?

One recurring mistake I have seen is candidates from the same institution using the same covering letter. This is the first piece of communication that your prospective employer sees, so make it stand out. Briefly talk about yourself, your strengths, your experience. This is also an opportunity to display your proactivity, do a bit of research on the company and explain why you think you will make a good fit with the company. Above all, remember not start with a ‘Hi’. Its better to err on the side of caution, so the traditional ‘Dear Sir / Madam’ should be safe.

Résumés - At a campus talk, a student asked me for ideas to make a good impression with his CV. My response was that this is about you, let your individuality come through. I added that all the CVs I got from that college were replicas except for personal details. Imagine my embarrassment when all 35 of those students glared at their Career Counsellor and said they had all been instructed to follow the college’s prescribed format.

Blooper

Put yourself in an employer’s position, he gets CVs from you and your batchmates as well. How are you going to stand out? Your CV is your personality in words, let it come through. I have received one pagers and 12 pagers as well but the one that stood out was a CD with a wacky Powerpoint. Now I am not saying go out and get a multimedia presentation done, but do try to be creative. For me the criminal offence would be to let errors slip in to the document. If I got the proverbial penny for every CV that I have got with typos and formatting errors, I could have retired by now. One can’t emphasise enough that ‘the devil is in the detail’. There are several CVs that elicit no response for exactly this reason.

To work in a reputed organisation, to learn new skills, utilize my potential to the fullest & to add value  / contribute to the growth of the organisation – this is how every third resume, I get, begins. It is a put off and reading further takes an effort.

Interviews – Casual does not mean creative, period. I have had people walking in wearing drawstring pajamas, floaters, scuffed jeans, and even the occasional suit. And guess what? The guy in the suit still works with me , of course, he had skills beyond his choice of clothes. Rule of thumb – formals are safe.

The impact of body language cannot be emphasised enough, firm handshake, smile, maintain eye contact. Admit it if you don’t know the answer to a question. Years ago we interviewed a promising young executive (I am sure he will roll up his eyes if he reads this), he was making a presentation to my team on ’Company Positioning and Its Effects on Stock Performance’. The first slide was a comparison of Infosys and Wipro, he started by saying, ‘Infosys is the best PR agency’. There was silence and before we could react he dashed out of the room, took a deep breath and strode back in confidently apologised with a smile and he went on to complete his deck. And yes, he was hired.

Do a bit of research on the company you are interviewing with, ask around, get the names of a few clients, try to identify differentiators. Given the proliferation of social networks, it will be a good idea to check the digital profile of your interviewer, you may find an ice breaker. It happened at one of my interviews,  an Account Director that I was meeting was checking my tweets just as I walked in. And she started the conversation with a discussion on a particular tweet and the meeting panned into a debate than the boring question - answer routine.

Follow up – You can end by clarifying when to expect to hear about the company’s decision, follow up after that. You can also be smart about the follow up. For instance, during one interview that my colleague and I sat through, the candidate sensed that my colleague was a keen follower of the telecom vertical. A day after the interview she sent us a comprehensive commentary on trends in the telecom vertical. We could not but offer her the job.

So take a look at your CV, type out a good cover mail and prepare well for your next interview, chances are that you stand a better chance at landing that job you have always wanted.

Puckish Revelations – The Funny Side of PR (Episode 1)

At the outset, let me clarify, I said puckish and not pukish.

A recent blog post by a colleague of mine, Shahnazj/ talked about the funny things that she has done over the course of her PR career (http://text100india.wordpress.com/2012/06/07/you-know-youre-in-pr-when/) got me reminiscing. And here goes my attempt at narrating a few amusing incidents that have happened during my time. And before you question my credentials, let’s say I do have a few press conferences under my belt too.

 

This one happened recently and comes to mind right away. It was a media briefing for a tech client, ably managed end-to-end (an over used corporate usage, if you ask me) by my colleague M. Post the briefing, yours truly, was staffing (how is that for PR speak? ) a media interview with a senior spokesperson. As is normal in such interactions, the journalist asked about the company’s India R&D centre. (M had briefed the journalist earlier that the company did not have such a facility in India). There was a brief, uncomfortable hesitation by the client with a hint of exasperation. I looked at M who was at the far end of the room, I needed to clarify if there was mention of any such centre in the press kit. Not wanting to disrupt the interview I caught M’s eye and noiselessly mouthed P-R-E-S-S K-I-T, she nodded and I turned my attention back to interaction. From the corner of my eye, I see M walking across and she hands me a plate of biscuits!!! The client and the journalist give me a look, a look that blared a lot of things like – what audacity? How greedy can he be? Couldn’t he wait for lunch? How insensitive to order a colleague around?

Red faced and with a sheepish smile – I said, sorry I wanted a press kit.

Resolutions For Here And Hereafter

It’s the time for resolutions and I have been quite irritated with the resolutions of one particular tweet I follow. His first resolution was that he would blog regularly, that touched a raw nerve, not to mention that I have been guilt ridden by PB’s constant pleas. And what better way to start than to list out resolutions, some of which I have no intention of keeping, however it may rid me of my blogger’s block. So here go my resolutions for the year ahead; actually make that for the decade, I have no intention of indulging in this excruciating exercise every year. 

1.  I will continue to believe in God and his infinite mercy despite everything that goes in the name of organised religion. The intolerance, the caste wars, the desecration of holy places. What happened to – love thy brother, turn the other cheek? Well, the lines stay in the Holy Books, God is in the Heavens and all is well in the world.

2. I will take up the cause of load-shedding. Err, not my flab; I am not FAT, just pleasantly plump. I will do my bit to save on electricity, switch off lights and airconditioners even if they are in adjoining workstations. 

3. I will defend Bangalore as the best city in the country on several factors none of which will include infrastructure, tolerance, security and openness. I will make a song and dance about the biggest blessing we have – the climate.

4. I will learn another language – French probably. Cursing at traffic tyrants in Kannada or Tamil is not effective any more. I tried Malayalam but the BPO cabbie nearly caused an accident laughing at me.

5. I will not vote if there is no candidate I can support. Its all humbug, one vote less wont make any difference. The corrupt will still win.

6. I will keep my friends close and my foes in the closet. That’s where they belong.

7. I will heartily join my Mallu brethren to proclaim that we hail from the most literate state, I will vehemently deny that we are the most illiterate in progress.

8. I will be tolerant to all other genres of music including the organised cacophony that have no rhyme, rhythm or reason.  And if I hear them being played while I am engrossed in James Last or Paul Mariat, I will take the ultimate step in toleration – I will don my earphones.

9. Money is the root of all luxury and I will shamelessly hold on to every bit of it. That Lazyboy will surely make a good retirement present to myself.

10. I will ensure that my favorite brand Louis Philippe will not go bankrupt. I will buy all of their special editions, 10th, 10 1/2, 10 3/4 year editions. I will buy all their new ranges especially the ones that are landmark and so different from the previous ones – like the changes in the thickness of stripes or the minute changes in the checks. 

Well, with that, my dearies, here’s wishing you all the very best for the year ahead.

All is not lost, some of us still have a sense of humour.

Doubts and Doubting Thomases

I have had a few people asking why I took a break from blogging and urging me to resume, believe you me it feels good to know people are concerned. So Padma, Poorani and others thank you for the concern and encouragement. My break was a result of a personal loss, of which I wont say much, because I believe loss is private and should be dealt with alone. And as is wont in difficult times one’s beliefs and faith are tested. It took me to the various times in the past when several of my traditional beliefs where put through the test.

I remember the movie The Last Temptation of Christ and the furore it created. I was young and wondered  what was the big deal about Jesus having feelings for Mary Magdalene or him having doubts about his last suffering. Did it change my views? No, I was used to reading about God’s that were really human – Krishna, Arjuna, Rama and all my other heroes from Amar Chitra Katha. For me it was fine for God or Demigod to have normal feelings. There were other controversies like the Turin Shroud, remnants of Noah’s Ark which again were matters of grave discussion.

And then came Dan Brown and the Da Vinci Code that threatened to shake the foundations of Christendom. The Vatican was up in arms, and so were a few other factions. Did it change my beliefs? No. What if Christ loved Mary, what if he had a child? Does it take away anything from his teachings? absolutely not. It however got me thinking, was there truth in some parts of the novel? Was it all a hushed up by the church? But why? Jeffery Archer tried to stir up some controversy with the Gospel According to Judas, at best it was like a short story written by a high school student.

Recently there have been discussions about St. Thomas and his journey to India. Some eminent historians aver that he didn’t come to India and that it is an elaborate make believe story. They say there are no records, however there is a belief that the Portugese wiped out all evidence. Does historical evidence really matter in matters of faith? Whether Thomas came to India or not, Syrian Christians will still be Christians…will that make me less Christian? Do my values change because Thomas didn’t visit India? No….

Going Over to Down Under

It begins on the Quantas flight. The Flight Attendants can barely conceal their impatience with the browns. They attend to calls with a dismissive, ‘Yes? Sir. You make a request and they will purposely delay it while they go about attending to everyone else. If you are on a stop over flight, the ground staff will do a repeat. I have watched the Quantas rep whispering to the Check-in Staff at Bangkok Airport, ‘Check his passport’, an honour again reserved for the brownies. You land in Sydney and they will pick you out from the crowd and guide you to the customs hall and ask you to open your luggage. You stand there hoping you haven’t put anything in by mistake, while the burly Aussies wear gloves to go through your stuff and you hope the lady behind you doesn’t notice him holding up and shaking out your underwear. (I certainly wouldn’t hide illegal stuff in that.) Standard procedure? yes, but again targetted at the browns. Atleast on two occasions I was with a colleague from Singapore and both times he went through.  

I went to Starcity, a well known casino in Sydney with my Indian colleagues and we were in for some lip service there as well. J was standing in line to cash his chips when this Aussie behind told him, ‘Its an honor for you to stand next to me, you brown d***’.  J paid back in kind with something about origins. The next instance came soon after, while we waited for a cab. We saw this group of Aussie youth hail down a cab and then screaming, ‘Why cant you go, you f****** b****?’ We got into the same cab and it was this middle aged Lebanese lady who was shivering and told us that she wanted to go home as it was close to midnight and the boys wanted to go in the opposite direction. They didn’t stop at the yelling, they took another cab, overtook us and stopped at the next signal and shouted obscenities while gesturing with their fingers.  The next was at the Sydney Railway Station while we tried to get out through the turnstile, an Aussie pushed D and went ahead. 

I have always been intimidated while in Australia, there is an uneasiness you feel and you are constantly on guard. However, my Aussie colleagues are great people. They have always been warm, protective and very helpful.   

As for fellow Indian travellers, the less said the better. They are bad visitors, period. They will summon the Flight Attendants for the flimsiest of reasons. I have seen guys asking for drinks well past serving time, they hoard miniature whisky bottles in their pockets. As soon as the ‘Fasten Seat-belt’ sign is off they gather around a particular seat and talk loudly while blocking the passage. Yelling in Hindi across the aisle is common, so is talking loudly while co-passengers try to catch a wink.  Get off the plane and they will push you to get ahead, jump queues, litter the place. And if you see Indians in a shop, flee. They will bargain on stuff that have fixed prices with liberal doses of theatrics thrown in. I have been to shops where they have said they wont sell to me, because ‘Indians only haggle’.

My sympathies go out for the students of racial attacks in Melbourne but I think it is time we had a good look at ourselves. We need cultural sensitization sessions for visitors, be it tourists, students, or professionals. I remember that during the first wave of on-site projects, engineers had to go through a session on sensitization – please use deos, wash the oil off your hair, do not talk with your mouth full, say please and thank you…. 

This is the era of globalisation and the global village, we need each other. Let’s learn to live and let live.

Compulsory Confessions

It is Passion Week again and this is the season we Syrian Orthodox Christians really let go – short of crucifixon we do everything possible to purge ourselves and to partake of the tribulations of Christ. And I am fine with the Lent (letting go of beef and beer for 50 days is not the easiest thing for a true blue mallu), attending mass at 4am for Passover and Easter (its not easy to doze off leaning against your dozing neighbour with bells clanging), all that kneeling (by the time the week is over you can do an Appu Raja with ease). I am willing to even take on self flagellation, the one thing I cant take is the compulsory confession.  It is so compulsory that we have to sign a register after the confession. Can you beat that?

For the uninitiated it is mandatory for us to confess before we partake of communion. What’s the big deal, you ask?

How would you like to bare your innermost secrets to a man you meet practically every week if not more? No go I say. I hated bumping into him after Passion Week trying to decipher if he remembers all I told him.  The most trying time is when you passed him during offeratory and he looked at you and your friends nudged you and whispered, ‘see? he remembers’.  

And so I created this messaging strategy (I should have zeroed in on communication back then and not wasted my time on other career options). It was pretty simple but quite effective. I classified sins into broad categories and so a standard confession would go like this -

Achen (thats what we call our priests) – Since your last confession do you have  anything to confess? If you do please say so in the presence of the Lord.

(Sure, I mean what a question!!! My last confession was a year ago.) 

Me – Yes Acha, I have lied on occasion. (I always hoped the guy before me had more lurid stuff to confess, besides it is better to steadily increase the heat.) 

Achen – Hmm? (In a tone, that says you can do better, go on.)

Me – I have not been regular in my prayers and at times have missed Sunday mass. (Another safe one. I mean, I can’t be the only one doing that)

Achen – Hmmm? (Go on, you are warming up.)

Me – I have been rude and hurt people (that’s such a motherhood statement.)

Achen – Hmmmm? (getting a little irritated)

Me – I have had bad thoughts (I almost can see him licking his lips)

Achen – Hmmmmmmm? (now we are getting there)

Achen – Hmmmmmmmmm? (come on son, easy does it, we are almost there)

Achen – HMMMMMMMMMMM???? (what???? that’s all???? you cheapo!!!!)

With that he grudgingly gives advice,  counsels and blesses me. All’s well that end’s well   

Listen, I have seen movies where a character confesses to a priest about a crime he is about to commit and the priest spends the entire night praying and pacing the floor debating whether he should warn the authorities. After all he cannot reveal what is said to him in secret.  

Why put the dear old padre through such torment?

Barking Dogs and Mewing Tigers

After the White Tiger, it is the Slumdog. If there was TV in 1945, the Independence Day would not have got as much viewership. Man, the craze was just nauseating especially Anil Kapoor’s antics at the BAFTA, definitely deserves an Oscar for ‘stand up comedy’.

Sea of Poppies  lost out to White Tiger, arguably a much better book in terms of content.  And now Slumdog, when Taare Zameen Par was a more striking movie. My angst is about less deserving books and films getting the glory. (BTW I think that this is one of Rahman’s less impressive scores.) Is there more than meets the eye? Has playing out a formula taken over artistic expression? I have said this before, there is no doubt that White Tiger was a ‘made for Booker’ novel. I haven’t seen Slum Dog but the rushes show the same settings – slums and slime. Come to think about it, what is it about India’s slums and poverty that interests the West so much? No, I am not being defensive at all. 

  The good thing is that the nation got a reprieve from Arnab Goswami and Rahul Kanwal  ranting about Taliban ‘swat’ting Zardari in the valley. Though I am sure Muthalik must be hating Boyle for spoiling his ’thong and dance’.