Resolutions For Here And Hereafter

It’s the time for resolutions and I have been quite irritated with the resolutions of one particular tweet I follow. His first resolution was that he would blog regularly, that touched a raw nerve, not to mention that I have been guilt ridden by PB’s constant pleas. And what better way to start than to list out resolutions, some of which I have no intention of keeping, however it may rid me of my blogger’s block. So here go my resolutions for the year ahead; actually make that for the decade, I have no intention of indulging in this excruciating exercise every year. 

1.  I will continue to believe in God and his infinite mercy despite everything that goes in the name of organised religion. The intolerance, the caste wars, the desecration of holy places. What happened to – love thy brother, turn the other cheek? Well, the lines stay in the Holy Books, God is in the Heavens and all is well in the world.

2. I will take up the cause of load-shedding. Err, not my flab; I am not FAT, just pleasantly plump. I will do my bit to save on electricity, switch off lights and airconditioners even if they are in adjoining workstations. 

3. I will defend Bangalore as the best city in the country on several factors none of which will include infrastructure, tolerance, security and openness. I will make a song and dance about the biggest blessing we have – the climate.

4. I will learn another language – French probably. Cursing at traffic tyrants in Kannada or Tamil is not effective any more. I tried Malayalam but the BPO cabbie nearly caused an accident laughing at me.

5. I will not vote if there is no candidate I can support. Its all humbug, one vote less wont make any difference. The corrupt will still win.

6. I will keep my friends close and my foes in the closet. That’s where they belong.

7. I will heartily join my Mallu brethren to proclaim that we hail from the most literate state, I will vehemently deny that we are the most illiterate in progress.

8. I will be tolerant to all other genres of music including the organised cacophony that have no rhyme, rhythm or reason.  And if I hear them being played while I am engrossed in James Last or Paul Mariat, I will take the ultimate step in toleration – I will don my earphones.

9. Money is the root of all luxury and I will shamelessly hold on to every bit of it. That Lazyboy will surely make a good retirement present to myself.

10. I will ensure that my favorite brand Louis Philippe will not go bankrupt. I will buy all of their special editions, 10th, 10 1/2, 10 3/4 year editions. I will buy all their new ranges especially the ones that are landmark and so different from the previous ones – like the changes in the thickness of stripes or the minute changes in the checks. 

Well, with that, my dearies, here’s wishing you all the very best for the year ahead.

All is not lost, some of us still have a sense of humour.

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