Forward for Unbelievable Luck

I hate the religious forwards in my mail box. Yes, I have a death wish and I don’t mind the bad luck that will come my way because I did not irritate the s*** of 10 of my friends by forwarding your mail. I don’t need to count my friends based on forwards I get. As for the good luck that you promised me on the 10th day at the 10th hour, shove it!!  

This is a forward that I got recently from one of my ‘born again’ friends. The text in the parenthesis is by yours truly.

Subject: SATAN’S WORLDWIDE CONVENTION OF DEMONS

Satan recently called a worldwide convention of demons to catch up with the strong and growing Christian Movement. (Saddam and Idi Amin must have got front row seats. I hear seats have been booked for Josef Fritzl and Osama for the next assembly.)  

 In his opening address he said, (Fiends, shamans, countrymen, lend me your rears) “We can’t keep Christians away from going to church.”
 
“We can’t keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth.”

“Once they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken.”

“So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, BUT steal their time, so they don’t have time to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ.” (Oops, I didn’t know there was a 11th Commandment added, THOU SHALL NOT HAVE COVERED DISH DINNERS. Btw, anyone care to explain covered dish dinners?) 

“This is what I want you to do,” said the devil: “Distract them from gaining hold of their Saviour and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!”

“How shall we do this?” his demons shouted.

“Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds,” he answered.

“Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow.”(I should have seen the obvious connection. The telecallers from Aisa Vaisa Bank do have evil voices.)
 
“Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive.” To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical music constantly.”
 
“This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ.”
“Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers.” (Et tu ToI?)
 
“Invade their driving moments with billboards.” (This is no concern really, most billboards are covered with ‘Jesus Saves’ stickers anyway.)

 ”Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes..” (So he was behind it after all.)
 
“Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on God’s creation.
Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies instead.” (Calling the attention of Disney Land, do not spend money on creating artificial lakes and forests.)

“And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences.” (See? gossip about other religions and ‘non born agains’ is not a good thing.)
 
“Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Jesus.” (All you activists desist from promoting good causes including slavery, abuse or clean air.)
 
“Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause.”
 
“It will work!”
“It will work!”

The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get busier and more rushed, going here and there.
 
Having little time for their God. Having no time to tell other about the power of Jesus to change lives.
 
I guess the question is, has the devil been successful in his schemes?
 
You be the judge!!!!!

Does “BUSY” mean: B-eing U-under S-atan’s Y-oke? (Er, what was that proverb we learnt in school about an ‘idle mind’? Glad to know that chilling out is safe now.)
 
Please pass this on, if you aren’t too BUSY!
 
I think I know 10 people who would admit they love Jesus. (Where are the dungeons and the whips that they are braving.)
 
Do You Love Him?
 
IF YOU LOVE JESUS, PASS THIS ON!!!!!!! (of course!!!!!!!)